Does anyone know what city i'm in? Do I know what city I'm in?

I'm home. safe and sound.

brenna and simon's wedding was easily the best nights of my life. top five, at least. I have never felt so loved by any one group of people in my entire life. a lot of times i thought that they couldn't possibly have been missing me as much as i missed them. i was wrong. so very wrong. i love, love, love them more than they can possibly imagine.

and yet here i am. at home. doing everything and nothing with my life. i promise i'm coming home as soon as i can. i just need a few more months of reckless college life. it's all about to get so serious, so demanding. goodbye freedom, hello textbooks. there are a few weighty decisions to be made regarding my future.

all i can hear are my dad's words, "one day it's going to be the 'have' and the 'have nots'. where will you be?"

where will i be? practicing law? chasing down leads? writing my sitcom? acting a sitcom? telling 20+ fashionistas how to look ten pounds slimmer in the latest de la renta frock? running around the globe putting out political fires? running around the globe starting political fires?

at this point i'm square with marrying an investment banker, and spending my days teaching my children how to make the perfect dirty martini for mommy.

No, i'm too restless for suburbia. too nomadic and determined to do something great.

what is great? It's so subjective. Maybe this summer I'll write something "great" and live off the royalties. No more shrimp baskets flying at me, no more lemons to dice, no more sunburnt tourists upset about the sun (because i can make THAT go away).

I want my Chicago back. Summer nights in the park, with cheap beers and wines coursing through my system. great music and even greater conversation invading every corner of my mind. All this in presence of people i care too much about.

3o days. my goal. my limit. give me 30 days to get my life settled, and then i'll come home just so that i can sleep on your couch and drink all of your coffee.

it's happening because i say so.

i'll get to it.

make it work.
ashley.

love.